[DearDiary] When I decided to be a Fan Girl~ (When will I decide to stop?)

When I decided to be a fangirl...
Why? I dunno... I dunno why I becoming a fangirl right now... --'
Years ago I dont know anything about this world...
I was really 'naive' and just like 'baka'

But, when I knew Yamada Ryosuke and Hey! Say! JUMP, I dunno why, I directly and spontanously decided to be a fangirl, althought not as fanatic as the other.

I just tried to love my idol in my way...
I do everything, but I thought that what I did was not maximal...
many things that I havent done yet for proofing my love for Yamada Ryosuke and HSJ..

But, as long as my life, this was a massive changes in my life especially in fandom world...

I never did these before.. Never...

I dunno what is fangirl, fanboy, fanfiction, etc...
And because of Yamada Ryosuke (now I will call him Yamachan), I knew those things, I knew many new things...

I dunno, but I like becoming Fangirl, especially for Yamachan <3 ^3^

Sometimes, I regret..
Why did I have to know him so late...
Why didnt I know him years, years ago?
So I could spent more time with my hobby as fangirl...


In my time today, I still be able to spend much time with JUMP and Yamachan, but that's not supposed to me...
I shouldnt do that actually..
Okay, okay,,, I could do that, at least in little time...

Nowadays, I spent much time to make fanfic, to online, to download, to .... anything...
Indeed, at this time I have to focus on my task, as student in last grade...

My Skripsi... MY journal,,, My proposal...
Those all things....

But, I like become fan girl...

Okay, I can become fangirl without ignoring my main duty... Right?
I still be able to do both of them....

What I must do is, I have to be balance... between them...


But, if I have to decide to stop being fan girl, maybe I could...
Although I really dont want..
I was just knowing about HSJ for short time... And I wanna add my info about that...

I knew that I was not a child anymore... I have been adult and have to be mature..
But, is being fangirl show I am not mature?
Maybe yes, when I am yelling and screaming alone when watching their video, when listening their song, or just see their pictures...

But I thought that was normal...
Right??


Maybe someday I will stop,
I often did that before, I began, and I stopped...

But for this, I dont want..

As someone said, "I never stop, just move on"

I wanna be like that... Just like that...

I like this... And dont wanna leave this...

When I decided to be a fan girl, must I decide to stop someday??????